When people ask me what I do, and I tell them I’m a counsellor, the first thing they ask is “What sort of counselling do you do?”
So today I want to talk about the two groups of people I mostly come into contact with through my practice. At first glance they may not seem to have much in common. But recently I’ve started to notice quite a few similarities between them.
The two groups are:
- people who are going through major transition stages in their life, and
- adult adoptees.
Sometimes they are both.
What do they want help and support with?
When I started to look at the issues they were presenting with there was so many commonalities.
There were issues around identity, which for an adoptee that was their actual identity being their name, and for both of them also a sense of identity and their place in the world.
Another big one is their sense of self – who are they really when they are not playing a role to please other people?
- Often they feel very disconnected from themselves, their feelings and emotions, even from their physical body.
- They tell me that they feel numb. Or that they have a constant feeling of anxiety running in the background.
- They’ve taken on what is important to everyone else around them and don’t know what is important to them.
- They work really hard to help other people reach for their dreams, but don’t have dreams for themselves.
- This leads into their ability to set boundaries, and to know what a healthy boundary looks like.
They have forgotten how to have fun, relax and enjoy themselves…
When I sat and reflected on this, it seemed so obvious.
This is me. My story. I am an adoptee and I have been through a major transition time in my life.
I went through all of those issues and feelings, and more…
What can I offer you?
Over the next few weeks I’m going to break it down, look into each of these aspects, and talk about what I did, what worked for me.
Over the years I have worked with some amazing therapists, coaches, healers, teachers and mentors. Some used mainstream methods and some were very alternative. They each offered me their wisdom, their own style of “medicine” to heal my heart and soul, to help me to discover “who I AM”, my authentic self. And more than that, to accept myself and love myself just as I am.
I read lots of books, listened to many CD’s (I’m showing my age…) and went to many seminars; and I made progress. However it was when I invested in myself with one-on-one support that I made the biggest break-throughs. They were talking to me, about me, and there was no escaping me! It made me ask my*self* the questions:
Who am I?
What do I like?
What do I want?
What’s important to me?
At the time I had no idea… I couldn’t answer these questions. Somewhere deep inside of me I felt that the answers didn’t really matter… because I didn’t really matter. I was measuring my self-worth on what I could achieve and do for other people.
I am worthy of _______, just because I am live.
Fill in the blank – love, joy, acceptance, respect, money, pleasure, a satisfying career, a home of my own…
What are those “blanks” for you?
If you choose to come and work with me, I can guide you along your own journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance and ultimately self-love.
Let’s chat – call me for a free 20 minute consultation to see how I can help you.
Phone me on 0498 434 838.