In todays video , I’ll talk about Assertiveness, Boundaries and Self-Esteem – what each one is and how they are all connected.
I feel it’s so important that I talk to you about these topics, as they seem to be a bit of a taboo subject, yet they are central to every interaction we have with people.
Almost 20 years ago I suffered a major breakdown – depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and crippling low self-esteem. The counsellor I saw back then suggested I go along to an “Assertiveness” course – I didn’t even know what assertiveness meant back then – however it was one of the best things she could have done for me. This course changed my life. Some of the techniques I learned there I still use today.
So, what are Assertiveness, Boundaries & Self-Esteem?
Assertiveness is a communication style, it is a way of expressing your needs and wants without being either too aggressive or too passive, without feeling like your rights have been violated, or you violating the rights of others.
So, do you have trouble communicating clearly how something makes you feel?
Learning to communicate assertively doesn’t guarantee that you will have your needs met, but it does make it more likely, and it can improve your relationships with other people.
Your boundaries are basically what is OK for you, and what is not OK for you.
Do people push your buttons or overstep your boundaries and you’re not sure how to handle it?
Are you even clear on what your boundaries are?
Do you alternate between shutting down and saying nothing… to blowing your top and upsetting everyone around you, including yourself?
Expressing what your boundaries are in a clear and calm manner teaches others how we want to be treated.
I can help you to learn what your boundaries are, and to understand the differences between passive, aggressive and assertive communication styles, some of the myths around assertiveness, along with tools and strategies to become more assertive.
When you start to practice these skills, your confidence will grow and your self-esteem will improve too.
Our self-esteem is how we perceive ourselves, our value – that is how valuable we feel we are to others. Our level of self-esteem, that is how valuable we perceive ourselves to be, affects almost every part of our lives.
When we take the time to become aware of what our boundaries are, and learn assertive communication tools and techniques to express to others our needs and wants, then our self-esteem improves.
If you want help in this area, there are two ways we can work together.
Either come along to my full day workshop where we will dive deep into each area, and I’ll provide you with a workbook with tools and strategies to take home and refer back to. The next workshop is Saturday 10th February 2018.
Or have a one-on-one session with me and we can work on your particular individual situation.
I offer a free 20 minute consultation for you and I to have a chat about what option is best for you. This can be over the phone or online with Zoom.
Call me on 0498 434 838.
Judy Glover is a qualified Counsellor, Certified Crystal Healer (Hibiscus Moon method), The Liquid Crystals Advanced Practitioner, Reiki Practitioner (Usui & Seichim) and has been initiated into the 9 rites of the Munay Ki. As an Integrative Therapist, she utilises the synergy of conventional “talk-therapy” counselling methods along with Inner Child work and energy therapy modalities to create a holistic approach, individually tailored to be most beneficial to you – she collaborates with you, guides and supports you on your journey of self-discovery.